Sleep

How do you feel when you’ve stayed up way too late and have to wake up early for work the next morning? If you’re anything like me when I stay up past my bedtime watching “The Bachelor” finale (guilty pleasure!), I’m not the happiest mommy on the block the next morning.

 

Keep in mind that adults are able to self-soothe (ahh… coffee) and follow some decorum for social etiquette.  But babies, toddlers and kids are not so great at managing their emotions or their own schedules. A child who is consistently lacking the sleep they require on a daily basis because of poor naps, late bedtimes, or early wake ups is missing out on the much-needed downtime that sleep provides. Sleep allows the body to rest and prepare for the next adventure and gives the brain a chance to sort and store information, replace chemicals, and solve problems.

 

How Much Sleep Does a Child Really Need?

A lot!  Kids need anywhere between 12 and 18 hours of sleep per day, depending on their age. Here are some sleep guidelines for infants and toddlers. 

 

Age	Total Hours Of Sleep Needed	Number of Naps Per Day	Length of Naps	Awake Time Between Naps
0 - 3 Months	16 - 18 hours total in a 24 hour period	~	variable	45 minutes - 1 hour
3 - 6 Months	14 - 16 hours	3	minimum 1 hour each	1 - 2 hours
6 - 12 Months	13 - 15 hours	3 - 2 (likely to drop the 3rd nap during this time, on average at 7 or 8 months)	1 - 2 hours each	2 - 3 hours
12 Months - 18 Months	12 - 14 hours	2 - 1 (likely to drop the 2nd nap during this time, on average 14-16 months)	1.5 - 2.5	3 - 5 hours
18 Months - 3 Years	12 - 14 hours	1	1. 5 - 2.5	5 - 6 hours
3 - 5 Years	11 - 12 hours	1 – 0 (likely to drop nap sometime during this time)	0 - 1 hour

 

*Each child’s sleep needs are different. Please use the above information as a guideline. For all young kids, aim for 11 - 12 hours of nighttime sleep each day.

 

Newborn Sleep Challenges

Newborn babies face a lot of challenges for getting the full amount of sleep they actually need.

 

Challenge #1 - They need to eat. Often.

Babies tummies are super tiny (like the size of a cherry at birth, growing to the size of an egg in the first 3 weeks) so small frequent feedings are required. This means 8-12 feedings per 24-hour period, so approximately every 2-3 hours. (Which means short stints of sleep for everyone involved!)

 

Challenge #2 – That darn startle reflex.

Babies are born with an automatic reflex called the “Moro Reflex”, where they quickly extend their arms and legs out wide and bring them back together in surprised, jerky motion. It is an involuntary response to movement, touch, noise, or temperature change. The movements only last a few seconds, but are enough wake a peacefully sleeping baby. (Argh!) Some babies can go back to sleep on their own afterward, but most cannot because they do not yet have the skills to self soothe (lack of fine motor to get hands to mouth, etc). (Double argh!) A gentle swaddle helps to curb the sudden movements and keeps babies cozy and confined while sleeping. As their nervous system matures babies outgrow this startle reflex around 3-4 months.

 

Challenge #3 – They can’t tell day from night.

Baby’s internal clock or “Circadian Rhythm” is not fully developed at birth. During the first few months, a baby might want to sleep more during the day and be awake more at night. To help get things on track, establish frequent feedings during the day, every 2-3 hrs, open the blinds in your home to allow in natural daylight, and keep a schedule that differentiates day from night. Keep day looking like day, and night like night.

 

Healthy Sleep Habits

Babies rely on us to meet all of their needs. As parents, we can, and need to help babies be successful sleepers by teaching them good sleep habits from day 1. I’m not talking sleep “training”; I mean teaching them that sleep is ok, it’s good for their body and their brain, and how, when and where to go to sleep.

 

It is never too early (or too late!) to teach your child healthy sleep habits. Sleep is something that needs to be learned and practiced, just like walking or eating or riding a bike. Our body naturally forces us to sleep at some point out of sheer exhaustion, but there are certain things we can do to help kids anticipate and actually like going to bed!

 

1. Daily Routine

You might not love routine but babies and kids thrive on it. They find predictability comforting. Having a solid daily routine does not mean making your baby adjust to the clock (eg: you WILL sleep at 10am everyday) but rather keeping a predictable routine so their rotation of activities stays the same and they know what comes next. (Eg: after I eat lunch, I go for a nap. After I play, we eat dinner, I have a bath and go to bed.) If you keep routines to roughly the same time and in the same order, it will set your baby’s internal clock so they are naturally awake/hungry/sleepy, etc. at approximately the same time each day. Here's an example of our average daily routine.

 

2. Bedtime Routine

Establish a bedtime routine that is virtually the same every night. Very young babies don’t understand words until much later on, so they need visual and physical cues to tell them it is bedtime. After the routine is well established you will be able to make flexible changes, like omitting bath if you’re running late, or removing a feed once it’s time to wean, if all other factors are the same and baby knows what to expect. Toddlers will try to test you, so having a solid routine in place will be one less argument with a temperamental 2 year old. A bedtime routine should be enjoyable and relaxing – a few activities that are calming for everyone. Bath, books, songs, cuddles, massage, are some common ones, but do what works for you. If your child hates baths, then pick something they like that is soothing instead. Bedtime shouldn’t be drawn out too long, but long enough for your child to wind down.  Check out our bedtime routine here.

 

3. Environment

Establish a different environment for day and night. Keep night feedings quick, calm, quiet, and dark. Use a dim lamp to feed and change diapers only if necessary (poop). During the day have lots of action, lights, and playtime.

Set the physical environment so that it promotes a place for sleep. My personal sleep trifecta: Blackout Binds, Swaddle, and a White Noise Rain Machine. Those are all visual and physical cues that tell the kids that “here’s your sleepy place and now it’s time to go to sleep”.

 

4. Watch for Cues

The tricky part about sleep is anticipating baby’s needs before they need it. When a baby is crying or even yawning, the time for sleep is long passed, and they will likely require a lot of effort or outside help (breast feeding, rocking, car ride, swing) to get them to sleep instead of falling asleep peacefully on their own. The goal for establishing healthy sleep habits is to teach your child to fall asleep on their own for naptime, bedtime and night wakings and to look forward to going to sleep because it feels good.

You want to put kids down to bed when they are getting sleepy, not already overtired.  Signs it’s time to head for a nap include: disinterested in play, lack of eye contact, eye rubbing, stretching, and yawning. Your child will have certain things they do that is their sleepy signal. My 8 month old flings his head back and arches his back. My toddler starts to run away from me, laugh hysterically and get clumsy. Every child is different. The earlier you can read these signs the better - when kids are tired the more they fight it. Putting a baby down when they are fatigued and happy shows them that sleep is a positive thing, instead of when they are overtired and screaming and it becomes a miserable battle, where baby has a difficult time calming down enough to relax and console themselves to sleep.

 

5. Habits are Hard to Break

The best advice I can give you is 'start as you mean to go on.' The younger a baby is, the easier it is to break bad habits, or better yet, to create good ones.

 

‘Sleep is an essential ingredient for a family’s health and happiness!   A good night’s sleep gives children and adults the energy they need to wake up each morning feeling happy, refreshed and ready to learn and take on their daily tasks! It is never too late to make sleep a priority for your family…  it’s for your health and well-being!’

 ~ Jill Parker, owner of Little Dreamers Consulting and a Certified Sleep Sense Consultant.